深圳高三线上统测英语作文题来了，各大名校学生作品抢先看！

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昨天，深圳市高三年级线上统一测试开考后，语文作文瞬间成为网上热议的话题。（戳链接回看→深圳市高三首次线上统测，作文题很特别！）今天，各科测试完毕后，我们将目光聚焦在英语的小作文。

一起来聆听广深佛地区高考测评专家、资深教研员、培训机构专家、一线优秀教师和部分考生从不同的视角的点评，欣赏一线教师的下水作文，最惊喜的是第一时间品味来自各大名校考生的现场作品！

2020年深圳市普通高中高三年级线上统一测试

英语书面表达

假定你是李华，你收到外国朋友Peter的邮件，他想了解你校在新冠疫情（COVID-19 epidemic）期间线上教学的情况。请你给他回复邮件，内容包括：

1. 课程与时间；

2. 你的学习状态；

3. 你的期待。

注意：

1. 词数100左右；

2. 可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。

Say you, Say me,

Voice ourselves!

一、热议篇

专家如是说

深圳市高三线上统测英语科书面表达题简评

黄丽燕 / 华南师范大学外国语言文化学院

（教授、博士生导师、语言测试专家）

总体上，深圳市本次高三线上统测的书面表达题较好地体现了教育部《普通高中英语课程标准》（2017年版）和高考英语全国统一考试大纲的要求，发挥了以评促学、以评促教的积极作用。有不少可圈可点之处：

核心价值：正确导向、体现立德树人

核心价值集中反映当前英语课程改革的精神和要求，以及立德树人的根本任务，应在高考试题中得以体现。本次的书面表达题关注我国的社会现实问题，引导学生关注疫情，关心社会，并对学习现状进行反思，有利于学习方法改进，以评促学。

情境设置：真实合理、贴近学生生活

高考书面表达题属指导性写作(guided writing)，题项包括写作情境、写作提示、写作要求三大构成要素。其中，情境设置在考生审题、厘清写作对象、决定写作内容和选择写作语言等方面发挥重要作用。本次统测试题以我国目前发生的新冠疫情为写作背景，情境真实，学生熟悉，有话可说。写作任务为给外国朋友Peter回复邮件，介绍线上教学情况，设计合理，具有真实的交际需求，便于考生理解语言的交际功能，激发写作思路，并根据任务情境考虑语言的得体性。

写作内容：要点明晰、提供发挥空间

指导性写作题常以文字、图片、表格等方式给考生提供写作内容提示。近年来，高考书面表达题基本以列出中文内容要点的方式限定写作内容。要点提示为考生提供了谋篇布局的思路依据。本次统测试题提供了三个写作要点，包括“课程与时间、你的学习状态、你的期待”。三个写作内容从描述性的课程与时间介绍，到议论性的学习状态反思与未来期待，要点比较具体、明晰。其中，第2、3点写作内容为考生提供了更大的发挥空间。关于学习状态，考生可以谈论自己对线上学习的体验、感受和认识。关于期待，考生可以谈论自己对回归校园、学校生活、同学朋友相见、教与学方式改进等方面的愿望。为了进一步增强学生对该话题的写作能力，考后教师可基于此次统测题，把要点2和3合并，另外增加一个关于“线上学习的优势”或“线上学习中遇到的困难及解决方法”写作要点，组织学生练笔。总之，该话题内容可围绕线上教学期间的学习安排、学习体验、学习方法、学习困难、学习收获等方面组织学生进行反思，开展分享交流。

能力考查：全面适度、重视思维品质

高考书面表达题综合考查学生的英语学科核心素养水平，尤其是在完成写作任务过程中表现出的对写作内容达意度，语言表达的流畅性、准确性及得体性，思维的逻辑性、批判性和创新性等方面的把握。本次统测题对英语学科的必备知识和关键能力考查比较全面，覆盖语言知识、写作技能、审辨式思维、中国文化背景知识、写作交流策略等方面，具体考查的能力包括：围绕线上学习主题内容，根据书信体结构特点进行谋篇布局、根据主题内容运用恰当的词汇和句法表意、运用举例等写作手法传递信息、基于自己的实际学习情况进行反思与分析、对于将来发展的情况进行预测等，总体难度合理，具有一定的区分度。

把握方向，突出“三性”

禹明

（英语特级教师，教育部国培计划首批英语培训专家，教育部义务教育课程标准审议专家）

书面表达题处于全卷压轴的位置，颇有“权高位重”之感。这次英语测试中的书面表达题体现了《普通高中英语课程标准（2017年版）》的要求，密切结合学生的生活实际，指向了英语学科核心素养，受到了师生普遍好评。我个人认为，它突出体现了“三性”：

第一、时代性。着力提升英语课程的时代性是课程标准的要求，也是人材培养的要求。书面表达的主题是当前“新冠疫情”下的“线上学习”，应该说选题非常好。新冠疫情已在全球爆发，成为各国共同面对的大事。由于新冠疫情，学校关闭。于是，网课成为一种选择，是高三学生目前的现实。因此，书面表达的主题紧扣当前的大事，紧密结合了学生的生活实际，使学生有话可说，有话可写。

二、开放性。较之以往的书面表达题，题目所提供的内容比较宽泛，只给出了课程与时间、你的学习状态和你的期待这三个提纲。给学生更多的思维空间和多元表达，规避了学生逐字逐句直译的风险，有利于培养学生的思维品质。这应该是书面表达命题的一个走向。

三、引领性。本次命题思路的画外音在于告诉学生，在英语学习的过程中，要关注发生在身边的“窗外事”，不能做“书呆子”。这是一封和外国朋友交往的书信，牵涉到一个对彼此文化的理解和包容的问题，也是一大学养。因此，学会用外语介绍中国，让世界更好地了解中国，当是当代中国学生义不容辞的责任和担当。

教研员这么看

廖明生

（佛山市教育局教研室高中英语教研员）

1. 写作主题紧扣时代，选用了大众关心的社会热门事件作为写作背景。

2. 写作情景设置真实，是在现实生活中确实正在发生的事情。

3. 写作任务和内容体现了很强的交际性，属于人际交往中完全会出现的互相交换的信息。

4. 写作任务具有半开放性，既规定了写作的方向，又给学生充足的发挥空间，符合目前高考体系中英语写作的命题理念。

5. 描述写作任务的语言规范、简洁、清晰。

6. 作文范文要点齐全，语言规范简洁，符合朋友交际语言使用标准和预期。

李光乾

（深圳市宝安区教育科学研究院高中英语教研员）

本次书面表达题目承袭了历年高考全国卷的一贯风格，用写邮件这一应用文来考查考生运用英语语言进行真实的交流互动的能力。命题形式体现了对“语用”的重视——根据交际的目的，认清自己与对方的角色，使用得体的语言，完成交流的任务。

正是基于上述的考查目的，本题型的话题往往会在一定程度上与学生的学习、生活的实际体验相结合，也在一定程度上与本国特点（文化传统、时事热点、环境条件等等）相联系。此次新冠疫情是一个绕不开的热点话题，此次书面表达回避了正面描写或者说明疫情，而是将重点落在“停课不停学”期间的学生个人网课学习体验上，这样的命题相信学生们都有一肚子话要说。写作任务与要点说明非常简洁、明晰，既对写作范围作了限定，又保证了一定的个性化发挥的空间，对广大考生来说落笔容易，要写得好却需要真功夫。

本次题目的审题难度不大。信件类型属于写给认识的人的私人邮件，主要的生词已经在题干中作出提示。所附的参考范文，结构清晰、要点完整、内容丰富、态度积极、连贯自然，很值得参考借鉴。

培训师这么说

苟浩传

（深圳市西华文化发展有限公司总裁 ）

下午考试完毕，我浏览了英语全卷。由于职业的敏感，英语作文引起我的兴趣，发现呈现了三大趋势。

命题紧扣时事，考生熟悉话题

本次作文假定你是李华，你收到外国朋友Peter的邮件，他想了解你校在新冠疫情（COVID-19 epidemic）期间线上教学的情况，请你给他回复邮件。命题内容包括；1）课程与时间；2）你的学习状态；3） 你的期待。本次作文命题与全国1卷历年命题走向保持高度一致，内容以新冠肺炎为大背景，话题虽大，但命题切入点很实，无论那个阶层的学生都话可写。

词汇难度不大，差异表达不易

本次作文忌高谈阔论。文章的构建并不需要与新冠疫情（COVID-19 epidemic）相关的专业性词汇，属于大题目背景之下中学生熟悉的一般性话题。我尝试写了三个不同的范本，旨在体验上，中，下游三个不同层级的学生之难易。下游学生不必追求完美，一定要内容完整。中上游学生在内容完整的基础上，建议词汇表达的差异化。譬如“网课”，我们既可以表达为study online, learn on the Internet， 还可以用 do e-learning。这样既可以让文章用词与其他同学拉开差距，还可以在同一篇文章中实现语言表达的变化，以此博得阅卷老师青睐。

词句语气关键，精准表达取胜

对于中上游，尤其是上游的学生而言，本次作文内容与语言表达没太大难度，但要获取高分，除了语篇连贯之外，用词精准，句式变化还有语气是否得体是关键。比如范文（version 3）: I’m highly delighted to have your letter inquiring about ...; with the epidemic raging around, we’re all required to study on the Internet instead等句子中，highly, inquire about, rage around, instead, 等词汇使用不仅要与一般性作文有差异，更要力求用词精准性。这是反映一个考生语言素材重要指标。再如，Even so, I’m still longing for the days that I will be spending with my schoolmates and teachers on campus. 还有，It would be perfect if you could share your situations there in your next time. I’m looking forward to your reply at your earliest convenience. 这两句中，进行时态，将来进行时以及虚拟语气的使用，这符合英文书信题材，让句子读来朗朗上，有效地增添了句子的“口感”。

老师这样评

陈秀娟

（深圳中学英语学科组组长）

作为“压轴”题的书面表达，让人眼前一亮。

亮点一：情景真实

考题紧贴考生目前所处的真实情景，新冠疫情特殊时期中特殊的线上学习经历。乍一看，这是热点话题抗疫相关的作文题，实质上是写抗疫时期中的“学习生活”，是考生耳熟能详的话题。熟悉的话题写出不一样的精彩，就是考生的实力体现。这样的考题引导学生关注现实，引导学生回顾与反思特殊时期的教与学，引导学生写出目之所见，身之所行，心之所思。考题的情景设计给考生提供了基于真实经历的思考视角，“课程与时间”为学校角度“教”的安排，而“你的学习状态”是学生个人角度“学”的行动和收获。

亮点二：跨国视野

考题要求考生给外国朋友回邮件，讲述新冠疫情期间的线上教学情况，符合“用英语说好中国故事”的风向标。这一篇作文主要是说好中国学生的故事。写作对象是外国朋友Peter, 作文需体现适当的互动和交际意识。疫情无国界，全球协调共济、中外沟通交流也无国界，这场意外的疫情也使学生切实地体会到“人类命运共同体”的价值与意义。命题情景设计的跨国视角和全球视野体现了英语的学科特质和学科思维。

亮点三：开放适度

考题的提示信息清晰明了，层次分明，给予学生充分的发挥空间。同时，信息要点的细节拓展性很强，学生仅需从中选择部分重点展开。“课程与时间”是学校设置的线上课程和时间安排，可以写科目、授课内容、授课方式、课堂时长、作息安排等。“你的学习状态”包括个人的听课状态、学习安排、自我管理、学习感想或收获等。值得注意的是，这一信息要点字面上是开放的，但含有一定的隐性要求，考生要注意把握好写作的基调。线上学习利弊、得失共存，考生表述的细节选取、词语选择能透露出个人的学习态度，最好能简要体现个人在这过程中的调整、适应、收获或成长。“你的期待”可写点也非常多，如对个人学习和生活的期待、对重返校园的期待、对奋战高考的期待、对中外共同战胜新冠疫情的期待等。

杨素宁

（深圳外国语学校外语书院主任）

作为高三教师，我在寒假里刷了不少模拟题和预测题。透过各地试题的难度和质量，我对各地的备考情况有了一个大致的了解。看到深圳英语统测题的作文题，我由衷地赞叹深圳对高考试题研究的力度。命题者在作文的命题和选材上力求全面考查学生的综合能力，对检验学生的学习情况和后期的复习备考具有很强的指导意义。试题主要体现在以下几个方面的特点：

选材新颖、与时俱进

2020年，一场突如其来的冠状病毒疫情打乱了每个中国人的生活节奏。这一年，对于备战高考的师生更是令人终生难忘。一夜之间，线上教学扑面而来，学生提前体验了未来教育的方式。他们不但亲身感受了线上教学的利与弊，而且还亲历了线上测试。此次英语作文题就在这样的社会大背景下应运而生，紧扣新闻热点，以疫情为大背景，突出线上学习，题目取材于生活，紧扣学生的经历与感受，牢牢把握住了时代的脉搏。

情境真实、模仿到位

评判一套模拟题质量主要取决于它与高考试题的仿真度。从深圳作文的指导语，我看到了历年高考作文的影子，主要表现在：1）写作要求明确，表述言简意赅，学生有适度发挥的空间；2）写作内容为学生的亲身经历，极易将学生带入情境，让每一个学生都能言之有物；3）由于每个学生对所给话题都非常熟悉，那么能否运用所学语言知识，在有限的空间内清楚、连贯地传达信息就显得尤为重要。此次作文命题能考查出不同层次学生的语言水平和对写作内容的把控能力，容易拉开区分度，符合高考的命题原则和选拔标准。

渗透德育、导向正确

命题者不但考虑到了测试效果和对教学的反拨作用，还非常注重试题内容的德育功能。在疫情蔓延至全世界的大背景下，向外国友人介绍中国的线上教学，增强了考生对“人类命运共同体”这一概念的理解；通过对线上教学的介绍，从侧面凸显了中国政府和教育系统应对疫情措施得力，增强了学生的民族自豪感和自信心；通过对自己网上学习状态的描述，学生可以进一步反思近期线上学习的得失，及时总结经验，弥补缺憾。总之，写作内容层层推进的设置，对应试者起到了“润物细无声”的教育效果。

刘红宇

（深圳中学高三英语老师）

本次书面表达是写一封“告知信”，告知外国朋友Peter学校在新冠疫情期间线上教学的情况。写作话题渗透了情感、态度、价值观；强调了写作的目的性和实用性，时代感强。很好地把眼下学生们的实际学习状况融入到写作中，引导考生观察生活并突出个体亲身感受，人人有话可说。

试题命题形式及体裁与全国高考英语书面表达吻合度高。“告知信”在近几年全国高考试卷中都有考查过，如2017年I卷告知英国朋友下次上课的计划；2018年I卷告知新西兰朋友Terry在中国家庭做客习俗；2019年II卷告知队友Chris球队近期将参加比赛事宜。 

写作任务有一定的开放性，这与全国高考英语试卷有着共同特点，考生有一定的自由拓展空间。从题目本身来看本次作文审题难度不大，在题干中给出了明确的要点提示。考生应该依据文体和要点确定文章结构。典型的三段式。第一段：背景（想了解…）+写信目的；第二段：课程与时间+ 你的学习状态；第三段：你的期待。其中，第一段的内容可包括：停课不停学、课程内容、时间（线上学习时间与课间调整）。第二段“学习状态”可着眼三个层面：行动、效果、感想。第三段的“期待”可考虑希望返校、回到真实课堂、坚信很快会实现等。

何红梅

（广州市广雅中学高三英语备课组长）

近三年全国高考I卷英语作文的命题在内容上基本呈现“文化性vs.实用性”的特点，另一典型特征是极具“开放性”。个人认为，2018年全国I卷的英语作文充分体现了“文化性”，它无疑是高考史上最出彩的作文，2019年全国I卷则体现了“实用性”的特点。显然，2020年深圳统测题的英语作文属于后者。

一看到新冠，我是吓了一跳，心想这个话题在高考中最多涉及到流行病理常识的普及，也许会在“七选五”里涉及到。还好！深圳的作文题是为广大考生熟悉、正在亲身经历的话题。命题者很好地把握住了全国高考I卷作文“开放性”命题的特征，使得考生有话可说，完全符合高考作文的命题方向。

考生这么议

深圳中学高三学生非常肯定本次英语作文的命题：

• 1. 普遍觉得书面表达题贴合时事，与实际生活联系紧密，代入感强，有话可说。

• 2. 提供的信息和角度很明确，跟着三点要求完成写作即可。

• 3. 不正面涉及疫情，消除医学专业词汇的后顾之忧。生词少，写起来比较流畅。

同时，也感到有如下难点：

• 1. 因为三个内容都有很多可写的点，写作时纠结如何表达出最精炼、且准确的内容。

• 2. 表达比较自由开放，也意味着有失控的可能，也许有跑题的担忧。

• 3. “课程与时间”的描述不太好把握，表述上有点纠结。“你的期待”不太确定是对线上课程的期待，还是对疫情的期待。

深圳外国语学校学生评价：

• 1. 觉得好写，在能力范围之内。因为题目离我们亲切，有话可说，不像聊传统文化那种，写起来空洞，这个题目容易表达。我觉得自己写的还不错，有真情实感，比较具体。难点可能是要考虑句式的表达。既然大家都有话可说，那就要看你说得怎么样了。

• 2. 有好写的地方，也有不好写的地方。好写：毕竟我们上了那么久的网课，应该所有人都很有话讲；不好写：对于“课程和时间”，我们习惯的表达方式都是中式的，用英语很难表达准确，而且很难放进长句子里。我个人不太理解“时间”指的是“几点上课”还是“一节课多长时间”，难点我觉得主要在“课程与时间”的表达上。

Think here, Think there,

Think this way!

二、指导篇

审题  谋篇  拓展

林佩华

（广州市执信中学英语学科组组长）

高考书面表达旨在考查学生运用所学语言知识和相关常识进行意义表达，完成特定交际任务的能力。写作的基本要求是切题、完整、准确、连贯。

为达到以上要求，学生需要做到：

1. 审题到位，准确把握写作任务的主旨，确保内容围绕主题展开；

2. 内容完整，邮件需要覆盖各要点，无遗漏；

3. 表达准确，语言运用贴切、得体、能有力支撑写作目的的顺利实现；

4. 行文连贯，各要点间应关系紧密，脉络清晰。

本次深圳统测书面表达的情境设定是：收到外国朋友Peter的邮件后回复邮件，告诉他你校在新冠疫情期间线上教学的情况。显然，体裁是告知信，话题关注社会热点，贴合当前在新冠疫情期间学生在家接受线上教学的生活实际，学生熟悉话题，有话可说，能“将学生的学习考出来，将学生的生活考出来，将学生的积累考出来”。

学生在完成写作任务过程中需要注意：

（1）在写作时应先读题并圈画题目中的关键信息，再仔细审题。通过审题首先明确：①文体：告知信（书信体裁）；②写作对象：外国朋友Peter（确定读者身份，自己与Peter之间是朋友关系）；③语言风格：亲切、礼貌、得体；④人称：第一、第二人称；⑤时态：现在时态（一般现在时和将来时、现在进行时和完成时）；⑥写作内容：表明写信目的（告知相关信息）、告知线上教学课程与时间、告知个人学习状态、提供一个恰当的结尾（表明期待）。

（2）审完题后，要解决段落结构的问题，要注意谋篇布局合理。建议将邮件分为3段，且每个段落要有清晰的功能。学生在梳理所有要点后可以根据自己对写信目的的理解，认真分析各要点间内在的逻辑联系，合理规划段落。如开头部分可以交代背景，表明写信目的；正文部分则告知线上课程、时间、你的学习状态；结尾部分表明期待疫情尽快结束，早日返校学习。

（3）接着，要解决如何围绕要点进行合理拓展的问题。这是一篇半开放式作文，题干简练，几乎没有给学生提供细节的任何提示，增加了考查的灵活度和学生自由发挥的空间，对学生的写作水平提出了更高的要求，突出考查思维品质，指向核心素养。邮件的拓展内容可以结合目前学校的线上学习要求和通过自己的亲身经历和体会从多方面的角度适当增加合理细节（如告知学习状态的要点就可以提及自己已经习惯了网络学习，这是一种创新的学习形式，意识到电脑和手机辅助学习的重要性等），使内容更加充实并成为一个逻辑连贯的整体。

（4）要很好地完成交际目的及写作任务，语言表达的准确是书面表达高分的前提。学生应掌握不同层面的语言基本知识，熟悉各类句子结构并力求做到熟练运用，同时兼顾语言表达的多样性和灵活性。

（5）在完成篇章布局、抓住内容要点的基础上，力求行文顺畅、通达。学生写作时除了将要点加以梳理，使表述层次分明外，还要在推进话题的过程中使用恰当的语篇衔接手段来实现段落之间、句子与段落之间、句子与句子之间的意义连贯。

（6）要力求保持作文卷面清晰，书写工整有美感。

Read you, Read me,

Read my piece!

三、实践篇

教师下水作文

（1）深圳中学  刘红宇

Dear Peter,

I’m so glad to hear from you and know what you are doing these days. In your letter, you show concern about our online schooling during the COVID-19 epidemic, so I’d like to share with you some related information.

The spring semester is postponed, but schooling continues online under our teachers’ guidance. Six days a week, we learn the required subjects featuring Chinese, maths, P.E. and so on. And each of the daily 6 classes is scheduled to last 40 minutes, with a 15-minute break between classes for eye exercises and self-relaxation. By getting actively involved in classes, I’ve adapted to such a unique way of learning and made great progress. In my view, the present situation poses a challenge to us, but it also means an opportunity to help us become autonomous learners.

However, I still hope to return to campus, where I can enjoy face-to-face classes with my friends. I firmly believe that the day will come soon because of the joint efforts and effective measures to fight the COVID-19 epidemic.

Best wishes,

Yours,

Li Hua

（2）深圳实验学校高中部  赵若英

Dear Peter,

I’m so glad to hear from you and know what you are doing these days. It’s considerate of you to inquire about our school’s online education in the ongoing COVID-19 epidemic, so I’m writing to keep you informed of the updates.

The nation tightening control over the severely infectious disease, the online classes are being conducted during our absence from school. The teaching routine covers Chinese, Maths, English and so on, including physical education and psychological guidance. Next week we Senior 3 students will even sit for a two-day dry run for Gaokao. As to the learning schedule, it goes as usual: from 7:30 am till 5:00 pm, during which there is a 2-hour lunch break.

I feel more relaxed studying at home because of my supportive parents. Meanwhile, I’m fully aware I need a stronger self-regulation, as there are more distractions and less supervision compared with on-campus life.

I’m already missing my teachers and classmates. I wish we could get COVID-19 epidemic under control soon and our life would get back on track.

Best wishes,

Yours,

Li Hua

（3）深圳实验学校光明部  白金国

Dear Peter,

I’m so glad to hear from you and know what you are doing these days. I’m writing to reply to your concern in the previous letter about online learning during COVID-19 epidemic.

As is scheduled, we follow the same routine as we usually do at school. However, the way teachers teach differ individually. Science teachers lecture a lot while language teachers encourage involvement. To tell the truth, my brain didn’t function well enough at first because of the distractions, such as video games, online chatting and absence of mind. Fortunately, I adapted myself to the changes and gradually caught up.

As for my expectations, I sincerely hope everyone will stay safe and healthy. I can’t wait to see my classmates and teachers when the new semester starts.

Best wishes,

Yours,

Li Hua

（4）深圳外国语学校高中部  唐红

Dear Peter,

I’m so glad to hear from you and know what you are doing these days. Knowing that you are curious about the online learning currently going on in China, I am writing to offer you some information based on my experience.

Actually, the online learning has lasted almost 2 months due to the outbreak of COVID-19 virus. Every morning, the school begins at 7:30 in the virtual classroom, where all the 6 subjects are taught.

At the beginning, study at home was hard for me. Without the teachers’ face-to-face supervision, I couldn’t help getting absent-minded in class and after class, the smart phone turned out to be a big distraction. Although free from peer pressure, I am also away from the dearest friends to talk to and play with. However, thanks to parents’ encouragement and the teachers’ online instructions, I gradually get accustomed to the online school life. Study groups are established on Wechat, where we turn in homework, have discussions and exchange with the teachers. I also value online learning as an opportunity to improve my self-discipline and a more detailed daily schedule is made so that I can be more focused on my tasks and my goal. Now I find myself more confident to face the coming Gaokao. I am expecting to share good news with you.

Is the epidemic affecting your country? Keep in touch and take care.

Best wishes,

Yours,

Li Hua

（5）深圳外国语学校龙华高中部  王薇

Dear Peter,

I’m so glad to hear from you and know what you are doing these days. In your letter asking about the online education, I am writing to inform you how it has been going since the outbreak of COVID-19 epidemic.

In response to the government’s call for “Nonstop Teaching and Learning”, courses have been rescheduled and delivered via different online teaching platforms. Class hours have been reduced and students have more time for independent study. It is actually a great challenge for most students who find it hard to concentrate when studying at home. It took me a while before I could fully adapt to this new way of study. Now the more flexible schedule has turned out helpful for Senior Three students like me, who can better manage their time in preparation for Gaokao.

I am hopeful that, with joint efforts of the whole nation, the disease will be brought completely under control and all the students can go back to school soon.

Best wishes,

Yours,

Li Hua

（6）宝安中学  陈璐

Dear Peter,

I am so glad to hear from you and know what you are doing these days. Knowing that you are concerned about the online lessons I take due to the widespread of COVID-19 epidemic, I am writing to keep you informed of my current situation.

We have a tight schedule for online lessons lasting for five hours a day on average, from Monday to Friday each week. There are plentiful courses on the list, ranging from the six required subjects for College Entrance Exam to PE classes. Psychology classes are included as well which are beneficial to our mental health. After class, we are supposed to finish our homework with teachers’ help available. Studying from home is never easier than studying in school. Distinguished from traditional classes, online lessons require more concentration and self-discipline. To stay focused, I take notes and interact with the teacher actively, seeing to it that I am totally absorbed in the lesson. Exposed to various learning materials and efficient learning methods, I feel more than encouraged to study from home.

COVID-19 epidemic being a huge challenge for all of us, I still hold a firm belief that we will overcome it and will be back to school in the near future. But before that, I think we should take full advantage of online lessons. Wish you the best of health.

Best wishes,

Yours,

Li Hua

（7）深圳明德实验学校 华妤琪

Dear Peter,

I’m so glad to hear from you and know what you are doing these days. Influenced by COVID-19 epidemic, our school is now embracing online learning. I’m writing to inform you of some information concerning it.

Providing abundant courses and reasonable schedules, our school overcame various obstacles and engaged students to online classroom interaction. As online learning is flexible, we study from 7:30a.m. to 5:00p.m with breaks for self-learning, in which I found myself indulged in studying more. Without teachers’ supervision, it is self-discipline that makes a difference to us. Furthermore, what I do expect is that the novel coronavirus will be defeated soon and online-learning will still be available to us in our school.

Hope my introductions will be of help to you. Looking forward to your reply.

Best wishes, 

Yours,

Li Hua

（8）深圳市西华文化发展有限公司  苟浩传

Dear Peter,

I’m so glad to hear from you and know what you are doing these days. I’m so glad to receive your letter. In the letter you let me know about what you are doing these days. Now I’m writing to talk about how we are getting along with study here.

As a result of the COVID-19 epidemic, we are having all kinds of classes in “classroom in the air”. We start classes at 8:00 in the morning and end at 4:30 in the afternoon. In the past, I never studied through the Internet, so I was not used to it at first. But now I’m fond of this. First, I think it’s interesting to learn online. Secondly, it’s very convenient for us to stay at home.

I’m looking forward to the end of the epidemic soon. I’m expecting to see my friends and teachers on campus.

Best wishes,

Yours,

Li Hua

二、考生现场作文

深圳中学学生作品（一）

点评：（深圳中学  谢建芳）

该生作文信息完整，结构清楚，紧扣写作要求，较好地完成了写作交际任务。语言表达流畅，卷面较为整洁。

深圳实验学校高中部学生作品（一）

点评：（深圳实验学校高中部  赵若英）

本文紧扣写作要求，重点叙述线上教学课程与时长(three courses; one and a half hours)，并适当拓展线上课程安排的意义(arousing our eagerness and initiative)；学习状态（次要点）与期待合理整合(keep pace with teachers, abandon myself in the world of books),期待不仅疫情早日结束，而且盼望辛苦付出有所收获。通篇写作一气呵成，卷面漂亮，布局合理，有详有略。词汇、句型丰富。虽然有个别错误passion on for learning; as early (soon) as possible; my effort paid (will pay) off。但是瑕不掩瑜，作为一篇考场作文，应属于上乘佳作。

深圳实验学校高中部学生作品（二）

点评：（深圳实验学校高中部  赵若英）

本文要点全面、结构清晰、语言流畅、表达丰富、衔接自然、卷面漂亮。

开头段合情合理交代写作背景，用词地道（paralyzing our whole social operation mechanism）;接着讲述我校课程安排与时间以及作者自身学习感受，两个写作要点逻辑紧密，句式丰富、并归纳准确（make up the weak subject;develop a habit of self-discipline；）结尾段既表达战胜疫情的期望，也表达对Peter关注的感谢，既能反映真实的生活状态，有体现作者处理问题的高情商。作为考场作文，实属佳作！

深圳中学学生作品（二）

Dear Peter,

I am so glad to hear from you and know what you are doing these days. Learning that you want to know about the online course of our school during the outbreak of the COVID-19 epidemic, I am writing to tell you some relevant information.

As is scheduled, the online course will last for a long time until the end of the outbreak. There are Chinese periods, English periods and so on, which are exactly the same as the school classes. In addition, the timetable doesn’t change as well, which means that I have to get up equally early to catch the first class. Although the virus has a dramatic impact on Chinese students, I keep a great study condition or even better as my room provides me with a more comfortable study environment, in which I am more focused.  

However, it is my sincere hope that I will be able to go back to school before long because I miss my classmates and teachers very much. If you have further questions, feel free to contact me at any time.

Best wishes,

Yours,

Li Hua

点评：（深圳中学  刘红宇）

本篇考场作文内容要点齐全，谋篇布局合理，层次分明。多样的语法结构，如非谓语、从句、介词短语等，增强了文章的表达效果。一些表达如as is scheduled, in addition, however等使得文章逻辑清晰，连贯流畅。总之，是一篇不错的佳作。

深圳中学学生作品（三）

Dear Peter,

I am so glad to hear from you and know what you are doing these days. I’m writing to tell you something concerning the online teaching of our school during the COVID-19 epidemic period.

To protect our eyesight, each course online lasts for 40 minutes, which is 5 minutes less than that at school .Since it's just about three months before the college entrance examination, we have the same classes and tests as we have at school. Every day is so precious that I spare no effort to grasp what I have been taught. With a deep understanding between hard work and success, I don't lower requirements on myself because of studying online. Instead, I work harder to improve my ability.

Winter will go and spring will come. I hope the epidemic will end soon so that we can go back to school.

Best wishes,

Yours,

Li Hua

点评：（深圳中学  刘红宇）

考生审题准确，对所给信息进行了有效的整合，整体布局合理。所拓展信息能紧扣写作要点，充满正能量，如spare no effort to grasp…, work harder to improve my ability。语言呈现手段多样、准确得当。同时注意到了上下文以及句与句的衔接。不失为一篇好的考场作文。

深圳外国语学校高中部学生作品（一）

Dear Peter,

I am so glad to hear from you and know what you are doing these days. Knowing that you are curious about online-teaching works, I’m writing to offer you some detailed introduction.

As you know, the COVID-19 epidemic has hit WuHan and rapidly swept around the whole country. As a result , all the students have no choice but to study online through video calls. Though no one had tried it before, the online learning turns out to be a great success. The schedule is as usual — five classes in the morning and three in the afternoon,and the course content basically agrees with the original teaching plan. As for me, a senior three student, I know well that self-control is rather important,which is why I go to great pains to stop myself from being lazy and bury myself into studying, taking full advantage of time to improve my grades.

Hard-working as I am, I am still dying to go back school.Hope the epidemic will end soon.And looking forward to hearing from you again.

Best wishes,

Yours,

Li Hua

深圳外国语学校高中部学生作品(二)

Dear Peter,

I’m so glad to hear from you and know what you are doing these days. It is so nice of you to be so concerned about me, and I am really delighted to tell you about my e-school life during the epidemic.

Sure, we now take lessons in e-classrooms through an app. The time schedule is all the same as normal. From Monday to Saturday, we take seven classes every day, after which come the weekly quizzes. On the one hand, the whole thing is quite novel for me, and I am a little bit excited. I am really thankful for my teachers, who have to rush into the kitchen as soon as the class ends to prepare meals for their family. On the other hand, the biggest problem for me is that I can’t get so focused as I was at school. Staying at home makes me too relaxed to get myself absorbed, about which I am greatly worried. Therefore, I hope the epidemic will soon come to an end so that we can get back to the campus.

Please take care anyway, since I heard the epidemic is spreading fast in your country. Looking forward to hear from you soon.

Best wishes,

Yours,

Li Hua

深圳外国语学校龙华高中部学生作品(一)

Dear Peter,

I’m so glad to hear from you and know what you are doing these days. Since you’re curious about the online education of our school, I am writing to inform you of some details.

Given the outbreak of COVID-19, we have started online education for the sake of health and safety since the end of February. Keeping pace with the same schedule in school, we take seven lessons each day with regular tests to ensure we master the knowledge. Online education is quite novel, so I managed to keep myself concentrated at first. However, I have gradually lost interest as the novelty fades. It turns out to be a great challenge to my self-control.

With Gaokao approaching, I hope I can be determined to keep attentive to each class and take the opportunity to make rapid progress.  

Best wishes,

Yours,

Li Hua

点评：（深圳外国语学校龙华高中部  王薇）

本文属于提纲式要点作文，题材与时俱进，和考生的实际生活紧密联系。这篇学生的作文结构完整，要点覆盖全面，语言表达准确，使用多样化的表达和多种句式。其中有个别语法错误如Online education is novel,此处的时态应该为was。

深圳外国语学校龙华高中部学生作品(二)

Dear Peter,

I’m so glad to hear from you and know what you are doing these days. In your letter you mentioned that you want to know more about the online teaching of our school, I am writing to tell you something about it.

Despite the influence of COVID-19 epidemic, our classes are all well arranged and organized thanks to the efforts of our teachers. We have a tight schedule, taking classes from 7:30 am to 5:00 pm and self studying in the evening. I am glad that I remain as enthusiastic and diligent as I was at school. However, I wish to go back to school as soon as possible because I miss my classmates and teachers very much.

Thank you for showing your concern. I believe that everything will return to normal soon.

Best wishes.

Yours,

Li Hua

点评：（深圳外国语学校龙华高中部  王薇）

这篇学生作文语言简洁，描述了自己上课的真实情况，同时也表达了自己的真情实感，要点全面，结构完整，长短句运用合理，句子间连贯，行文流畅自然。

深圳实验学校光明部学生作品(一)

Dear Peter,

I’m so glad to hear from you and know what you are doing these days. I’d be more than happy to share my online learning experience with you.

Covering all the subjects, including P.E., music and fine arts, our curriculum meets the needs of all the students. Furthermore, although the time arrangement is fixed and tight, we might watch the replay if we missed a certain course.

Unaccustomed as I was in the beginning, I have gradually adapted myself to the online learning style. Moreover, since I know the whole nation is fighting against the COVID-19 epidemic, what I can do is to study hard, which is also my responsibility as a student.

I sincerely look forward to the final victory against the virus so that we can go back to school.

Best wishes,

Yours,

Li Hua

点评：（深圳实验学校光明部  白金国）

结构上：逻辑清晰，分段合理，符合应用文格式。

内容上：覆盖所有要点，主次要点明晰。

语言上：用词凝练，连接词如furthermore, as, moreover等使用精准，行文连贯。句式、词汇和短语的选择亮点频出，如Covering all the subjects …非谓语动词的使用；although, as, since引出状语从句；which引导非限定性定语从句；meet, fix, miss, accustom等动词的使用生动且精炼；短语more than, adapt to, fight against等使用彰显写作功底。

改进意见：We might watch the replay if we missed a certain course.一句使用了虚拟语气，追求了语言形式，忽略了语境，应该改为真实语气。

深圳实验学校光明部学生作品(二)

Dear Peter,

I’m so glad to hear from you and know what you are doing these days. Having learned that you are interested in our online study during the COVID-19 epidemic, I am writing to introduce the current situation.

Undoubtedly, the online courses are of great help during this special period. We have 8 courses every day, which start at 7:30 am. and end at 5:30 pm. Frankly speaking, the arrangement offers me more spare time to overcome my weaknesses in specific subjects. Additionally, I learn to allocate time efficiently. However, more self-control is required and strengthened, otherwise I may easily get addicted to games and videos.

Hopefully, the global COVID-19 epidemic will soon become under control so that people will no longer suffer.

Best wishes,

Yours,

Li Hua

点评：（深圳实验学校光明部  白金国）

该文体现了作者良好的审题意识，要点覆盖完整，段落篇幅合理，写作要点拓展得当，过渡自然。语法结构运用自如，首段Having learned ...非谓语动词做状语，开篇即展语用能力；Undoubtedly, frankly speaking, Additionally, However等连接手段体现逻辑严谨性；overcome weaknesses, allocate time, get addicted to等词块使用体现词汇多样性；第二、三段里使用了非限制性定语从句和结果状语从句，体现语法结构丰富性。

宝安中学学生作品(一)

Dear Peter,

I’m so glad to hear from you and know that you are doing these days. Delighted at learning that you crave to know about the online teaching condition of my school, I’m writing to keep you informed of more details concerning it.

First and foremost, it is the network platform that creates a comfortable studying atmosphere for us. According to the school schedule, there are four days in a week for excellent teachers to show necessary courses while the rest is due to provide knowledge popularization about COVID-19 epidemic as well as letting us do exercise, from which I have gained a lot. Although the close of schools always fails to avoid parents’ concern, I’m still confident to say that I am in a good state of study. Not only does the online teaching foster my discipline but it also achieves no suspensions of class.

Last but not the least, during this special and tough period, I heartily hope you can take good care of yourself and stay in a good mood in every single day.

Best wishes,

Yours,

Li Hua

点评：（宝安中学  陈璐）

该学在这篇作文中运用了较多高阶词汇短语，句式灵活丰富，能准确使用非谓语、强调句、定语从句、倒装句等句型句式。开头点明书信类型，主段落要点齐全，逻辑较清晰，但学生在对第二个要点“你的学习状态”的叙述表达上仍有提升空间，有较多“中式英语”的痕迹。

宝安中学学生作品（二）

Dear Peter,

I’m so glad to hear from you and know what you are doing these days. Knowing that you’re paying great attention to our online teaching during the COVID-19 epidemic, I’m more than thrilled to provide you with more details.

Our online course is scheduled in March, from Monday to Friday each week, consisting of 3 courses a day and countless quizzes. Apart from criticism that online teaching distracts student’s concentration while speaking of online teaching, my personal feeling is on the contrary. In fact, not only can it enable students to communicate with teachers, but it also provides a platform to exchange ideas. But for it, I couldn’t have made such progress and have become more knowledgeable.

The world has been in trouble since the COVID-19 broke out. My only anticipation is that it can end soon. Besides, also wish you could be healthy and happy. Best blessings for you!

Best wishes，

Yours,

Li Hua

点评：（宝安中学  陈璐）

从这篇作文可以看出该生的词汇量较大，在日常学习中积累了较多的高阶词汇和短语，并能使用在考场作文中。文章句式灵活，第二段最后的虚拟语气是点睛之笔。但在叙述自己学习状态的要点上，学生写的更多的是针对上网课的观点，显得宽泛，个人色彩不明显，在审题上需要加强。

深圳明德实验学校学生作品（一）

Dear Peter，

I’m so glad to hear from you and know what you are doing these days. Knowing that you intended to learn about my school condition concerning the online classes in the course of COVID-19 epidemic, I’m writing to inform you of it. The details are as follows.

Scheduled from February 10th , 2020 on the Internet, the course features unique online classes, which are considered as a significant part of us. During the special period, we are required to stay indoors, being isolated. What makes us confused is that how we can study well as learning at school. However, not only can the course  pick up my sense of study, but also I can benefit from it by repeatedly watching . Thanks to the course, I can reasonably arrange my time to enhance my learning efficiency.

Look forward to the end of the epidemic and our reunion.

Best wishes，

Yours,

Li Hua

点评：（深圳明德实验学校  华妤琪）

詹小璇同学的作文内容完整，行文流畅。高级短语和句型的使用比较丰富，例如in the course of;定语从句；名词性从句；非谓语动词等等。能够熟练的运用feature、enhance这些动词，比较灵活。有部分语法错误经过了修改，语言表达的准确性上还可进一步提升，在平时写作时需细心注意。

深圳明德实验学校学生作品（二）

Dear Peter,

I’m so glad to hear from you and know what you are doing these days.With the outbreak of the COVID-19, we’re stuck at home to be quarantined. To help you better know our situation, I’d like to briefly talk about it.

Following the rules issued by the government, our school provides online classes for us, which last from Sunday to Friday, consisting of all the courses to be tested. During these days, I unexpectedly turn to like this kind of teaching form, for the sake that we can interact with teachers more easily. Though online classes have benefits, I am still missing the time in school. What is the most expected is that the epidemic can end as soon as possible, thus providing a more suitable place for us to prepare for our exams.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Best wishes,

Yours,

Li Hua

点评：（深圳明德实验学校  华妤琪）

陈嘉茵同学的作品内容完整，详略得当。灵活运用学过的高级短语和句型，例如定语从句；名词性从句；非谓语动词；with结构等等,提升了文章档次。语言的衔接也十分自然，能够熟练的运用与话题相关的高级词汇，难能可贵，充分达到了写作的目的和要求。部分句子表达经过了修改，在语言表达的简练上可进一步提升。

三、试题参考范文

Dear Peter,

I’m so glad to hear from you and know about what you are doing these days. I’m writing to tell you how our schooling is now going on.

Actually, we are having e-learning at home, studying in the “classroom in the air” all the academic and non-academic subjects. The holiday schedule runs from 8:00 am till 4:30 pm on work day, with more and longer breaks for rest than usual.

Personally, I’ve got used to online learning, which I think is a creative form of schooling, and also our own way to fight the COVID-19 epidemic. We’ve come to realize how important computers and mobile phones have become to us! But I really miss the days with my friends and teachers on campus. That’s why I pray for the end of the epidemic every day, and I believe it’ll soon come. 

Best wishes,

Yours,

Li Hua

结束语

突发疫情带来了史无前例的超长寒假，也打乱了学生们的生活和学习节奏。但灾难带来挑战的同时，也为学生们上了终生难忘的一课，在强化疫情防范意识、加强生命教育的同时，也增加了学生的生活阅历。

因此，这篇应景作文期待学生在中外同伴的交流中，梳理自己的亲身经历，说出自己的故事，尤其是与学习有关的故事。这样的设计，源于生活，引导学生关注生活，在实际情境中灵活运用所学知识，学会用英语进行交流。

（深圳市教育科学研究院高中英语教研员 王卫华）

整理：王卫华

编辑：王子薇

此文由王卫华整理原创，名师说已获权首发

未经授权禁止以任何形式转载，违者将追究法律责任

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